Earlier this year I dated with a guy overwhelmed with anxiety and ultimately I was blamed for a lot of things that incidental just didn’t work in his favour. It was heartbreaking to be constantly wrong in every aspect of the relationship – what was love?
For months since the relationship I have still failed to be correct at anything, forever wrong and incorrect regarding the matters and advice of mutual friends. However it can also be said that I simply don’t give a hoot about his advice and ideas and yet he simply assumes I’m angry and adding tension to the situation. Ultimately the fact I don’t care anymore because I’ve had enough just adds fuel to fire because the whole world doesn’t revolve around his life and underlying anxiety issues.
Does not caring and losing interest in someone who treated their issues like a hot potato make me a bad person?
I’ve been talking with this guy lately and he’s open about his anxiety and various other issues he’s concurrently maintaining and slowly improving. His rationale understanding of issues and small progress leaves me in awe. It’s amazing how two different people can tackle issues differently and maintain different relationships.
This guy is really great and a lot of fun to chat with, however I’m wary of his anxiety, so whether it develops into something more is entirely up to him to make that decision.
The conversation is intellectual and sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in a dictionary but he’s responsive to my cry for help and makes light of my overwhelming emotion and rationalised my thoughts and look, the conversation is just a lot – and I’m into it.
Mentally, it’s more for him than it is for me. I can’t relate to anything he’s going through despite how much he describes it, but I can be of moral support and a somewhat social stimulant. I may also be a bit emotionally invested, like I smile at my phone reading of his successions. Plus, he responds like every few hours so I have moments to write essays without distraction – even though he’s also extremely insightful.
Point of the blog, I guess anxiety only consumes you if you’re not willing to change. This guy is dope and I’m attracted.